Defined as: A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger. Courtesy of www.dictionary.com.

The chorus of this song keeps playing in my head.

"Consuming fire, fan into flame. The passion for Your Name. Spirit of God, won't you touch us again. Lord have Your way. Lord have Your way, with us."

Passion is a dedication, a choice that one so willingly makes because of one's personal desire to do something, a strong, fervent zeal for any belief. I can say Buddhists can passionately burn joss sticks to promulgate their teachings, as one of my seniors told me about the other day.

As I see it, why is it that the youth seem to have so much more boundless energy and passion than adults? is it because they haven't been exposed to the working world or the life outside of school? There has to be something different, something that ignites them while the older personnel are mainly left to be just standing around and observing. It's not very nice, is it?

In the crowds at packed concerts, the youth are dancing. Adults are rarely present unless they're the stage performers, for example Hillsong United or Planet Shakers. Even so, what sets these adults apart from the other adults, who seemingly just xiu shou pang guan?

Igniting a flame in our hearts for God is not just enough, though. We have to continue to fuel the flame and not leave it to die out on its own. Though outwardly we decay yet inwardly we are always being sustained and renewed by our loving Creator from above.

Old people can always dance and jump about. No one says you can't do that, unless you've got an injury that prevents you from doing so. In fact, God loves it. Otherwise why would David jump and sing about, only to be criticised by his wife Michal; in the end she was cursed to be barren for the rest of her life! That's how seriously God takes it to be, because we're worshipping Him, not glorifying ourselves.

Maybe the older ones are being more reserved in their actions. Moreover no one ever said you can't worship by not dancing or jumping around, it's your own free will, and you do it out of love for God. Whatever you do it's done for the love of God. True? Obviously.

Passion can be displayed in so many ways. In prayers, in songs, in actions, etc. God has not given us emotions for nothing, but rather He wants us t o use it to glorify Him further. And He loves that, too.

Joel.

Defined as: A rule of conduct or procedure established by custom, agreement, or authority.

A passage came into my mind this week, notably on Romans 3:10-20. Verses 10-18 talk about the sinfulness of man, the writer lamenting that no one knew God, and all have turned away from the path of righteousness. Verses 19-20 struck me the most, however. "Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin."

Actually I still don't understand much of it. In my own limited understanding, though, what I think that we are bound by law, and obedience to it doesn't warrant righteousness but rather it is obligatory that we obey the laws set before us. No rewards are given for obedience, and yet we'll be punished if we do commit any mistakes.

Similarly in the army, where it's total crap. And warrant officers there can be total dumbos at times. The situation can always be unfair, but still it is the law laid down by them and we have to follow. Not that we'll be complimented of doing anything better than the standards set for us (it's only expected!) but if we do anything below oit we'll get into trouble when caught.

Seriously, I've wrestled with this issue for such a long time already. But if it's written in the Bible in this sort of manner too, how can I find myself able to formulate any arguments?

Joel.

Lasts a lifetime, but God's love & companionship? Forever. No matter what happens to us, no matter if friendships end, no matter if people don't care about you/die/migrate to other places/suffer from amnesia due to some tragic unfortunate head injury, God i) will still love you, ii) will still watch over you, iii) and totally empathises with you the way you feel over broken friendships.

I still remember last year when I did get pissed off with my darling no 2, Rahh. In fact, I got pissed off with people in general. Felt that I didn't have any friends for a while, which partially contributed to my foul moods on weekends. And yes, the incident with my no 2: So to speak, it's easy to get pissed off with people and hence cause the friendship/relationship to suffer, and vice-versa, it is also easy to piss people off and cause said relationship to suffer. In the end you just have to look at one thing: That God chose to forgive, so why can't you? He forgave the people who murdered His Son on the cross. He loved them though they were so unlovely and similarly we ought to love others who are that unlovely, too. In the end, it boiled down to my childishness and not being able to take her direct opinion. She was just speaking the truth, I was just being hard-headed and not accepting it. In fact I think this issue has gotten us closer, ain't it so?

Friends can mean many things to us yet we have to remember that human friendship is mortal, friendship with God is immortal. It can continue even in the afterlife, when all of us once dead will be with our dearest friend in Heaven, singing praises and shouts of joy to Him and Him alone. Amen.

Tomorrow's the leaders' retreat, which unfortunately I won't be able to go. How lovely. The consequences of booking a duty on Vesak Day. Heck, it was either that or Labour Day. Weekends are still more precious, if you get what I mean. In any case, it meanas resting from the physical trauma I've obtained today through some good ol' basketball. I hope to have lost maybe 1g of fats.

In any case, the week's short, and I've got a day off-in-lieu for tomorrow. Great!

Joel.

It had to be the dream that God showed me last Friday. Even this week I'm still learning new things about it. That I should never at any time focus attention on just one of my 5 and leave the rest of them to fend for themselves without realising it. Which is rather different from the thoughts I was having in the earlier half of the week.

True, God was saying pull back. Pull back from the ones which I'd been stifling, and give more attention to the ones I'd been neglecting. Even then, the status of the 5 of them can easily change about. Change is constant, yes, and so can their lives with God be changed in the twinkling of an eye, the flash of a few milliseconds. Though it may only be noticeable within a few days' time, but the impact can be felt soon after.

The voice of God, effectively, can be startling. It can be a gentle rebuke, it can be a niggling at your heart, an audible voice, or just the words of the Bible flying right off the page at you. God doesn't speak without reason.

True, He didn't want me to be too dependent on them to reach Him, like I've experienced this whole week. Bitching about an illogical boss to ythem as compared to bitching about it straight up to Him, which is better? He's the one who placed people where they are today, He's the one who controls what goes on in our lives, He's the one who sent His Son to die for us, what else can He not do? In any case, I'm still seeing the omnipresent, omnipotent, loving Father, who is always there to support and comfort, even in times of trouble.

Friends are there to support you, but no support is greater than from the one who gave His Son for us.

Praise be to Him.

Joel.

I had a weird dream on Sunday morning. It qualifies as weird, too. Why else would I dream that my parents gave me 5 precious fishes for no apparent reason, just for 2 to die of a lack of oxygen, 2 more to die in my drumstick bag (rather dumb, but it's a dream still!) and the last one to die due to me being so traumatised about the loss of the other 4 that I forget all about feeding it?

As I was agonizing over it the morning and afternoon, fuelled by the aftermath of a bomb (which I so stupidly happened to release), and way through the night, I can only sum it up in one point: That God, being the omnipotent, omnipresent God that He is, doesn't want me to indirectly approach Him via the 5 darlings of my life. Nope. He wants me to: Come clean, and be direct. He's not there for nothing. And He wants me to realise it. Instead of telling the girls my problems (hey what the heck, they have their own problems too!) and asking them to pray for me, take the more direct route, upfront to God. Why not? He's there, listening patiently, wanting to hear you talk to Him about how desperately you need Him, how close you want Him to be in your life, not through some artificial voice of a friend!

True, intercession is a virtue, but there still has to be some point in time where you have to come clean with God, yourself.

So I've decided that I ought to cool it down, and let my darlings relax. Like I've mentioned, they've got problems of their own, I don't need to add on to their burdens further, do I?

Precisely. It's not my problem, take it up to God!

Sorry darlings.

Joel.

And rightly so. After all, worship is what you were made for, a relationship with your Creator. A relationship between the createe and the Creator.

True. So what constitutes worship? It's mainly a connection between you and God. Anything else is just peripheral. Music, for one, is optional. You don't need it to worship. But it is does help as a catalyst to draw men to God. Isn't it strange, though, that God is always there for us, but we have to focus & concentrate to get our hearts right to meet God? Maybe it's due to the fact that we were made to worship God, but we can't see God and hence we don't experience the realness, especially for the so-called "young" Christians. Older, more mature Christians have no problem with this.

In any case, though, God's always around, whether we want to meet him or not. Sin does present a barrier, notably the case when Adam ate the fruit and realised he was naked, so he hid from God. Prior to that Adam and Eve were in the nude all the while but they didn't see anything wrong with it. Yet he sinned, and it opened his eyes, and he realised that he couldn't draw near to God because he was naked. When we sin we do in fact have the simliar feelings of awkwardness and embarassment when wanting to draw near to Him. Yet He is faithful and just and forgives us. If only we do confess our sins humbly and honestly.

Music, ah. To provide the environment for people to draw near to God, especially in churches nowadays. Had some training and workshops earlier, hopefully allowing us to better express our worship for God. In the form of music, too.

But I think, ultimately, worship isn't about the music, it's not about the people around you, it's not about the environment. It's simply your heart. The preparedness of meeting God. It has to be right with God 24/7. Because worship is not only in churches, our daily life reflects our worship too!

Only when we are right with God in our worship, then will the rest of the other 5 purposes fall into place. Getting right with God allows you to get right with other people, hence allowing you to find a place to serve to express your worship, and as you mature in your worship you can disciple the younger ones,. finally reaching out to others who have as yet been unreached.
Wow.

Joel.

As reflected in the past 3 entries. Note that these aren't meant to be specifically directed at anyone, I just hope that if anyone reads this, you can always choose to give comments and critique it. I'm very open about this. Why? It's only my own opinion, and other people may have valid opinions, too.

Today, I'll start on a different tack. I'll be talking about leadership. Be it in school, be it in church, be it even at work, or whatever projects that you carry out, there will be bound to be a leader. Someone who is probably more senior in terms of age, or holds a higher appointment than yourself.

Leaders have a very tough role. In fact, you're supposed to be a mentor to whom you lead. You're supposed to set an example for them to follow. You are the embodiment of professionalism to them.

And yet you notice, out there, without fail, bosses who have such extreme double standards. Where some practices are prohibited, by them, for you. For example, my boss prohibits smoking, but he can practically walk around camp blatantly with a cigarette in his hands.

Do we respect these sort of people? Obviously not. But we are told to "submit to the authority" that God has set over us, be it good or bad! Because God never did put them there without a reason, isn't it so?

And therefore, leaders are there for a purpose. Even if you think they're pretty screwed up or what, they're still there for a reason. Precisely because God put them there. Note: God oversees everything on earth, being our Supreme Leader and all.

And yes, leaders are supposed to look after, encourage and discipline their members. Of course, not to be too relaxed with them, but give them welfare where welfare is due. Rewards where rewards are due. Otherwise who would want to work with a leader who emphasises discipline and standards all day long, without the slightest hint of any welfare? He's more like a slave driver, in that circumstance.

I'm still feeling that way towards my boss. And yet God has put him there, for reasons I can't fathom. For His thoughs are higher than mine, and His ways are different from mine.

Joel.

After the last 2 posts on maturity, change and leadership, I have decided to change my tact for this and go through the most dreaded topic of all: Relationships.

Relationships, by far, are the one of the best things that a human can ever possible experience. We were created by God to have a relationship with Him, and similarly with other people around us. Bonds are formed on the basis of conversations, for acquaintanceship, on the basis of spending time together, for the purpose of delving deeper into a relationship and not letting it stagnate at skin-deep level. Nevertheless: It is important to note that we are unable to cope with too many deep friendships, hence our friends are limited to 1 or 2 close confidants, several good friends, and the rest being merely acquaintances. Not to forget the significant other.

Ah yes. The significant other. In early teenage years the mention of a significant other does cause hearts to flutter. Especially if he/she has all the characteristics that one is looking out for. And youngsters being youngsters will go "Man, he/she's the one for me." Typically like how Samson behaved when he saw the Philistine girl, not considering what God's plans were or what his parents' opinion was.

Now, that is seriously treading on thin ice. There is a danger of being too obsessed with someone, ultimately deifying the person as a god/goddess. And that, obviously, is wrong. What, the guy/girl on the street means so much to you that he/she should take up all your attention? More important than your work, more important than your other same-sex friends, even more important than the God in heaven who looks at everything happening down on earth? Come on. Being in love is one thing, having a crush/infatuation/obsessi on is another. Moreover, other nasty things may happen. thinking of that person constantly causes your mind to run wild with fantasies, probably leading the devil to plant suggestive scenarios in your head and causing you to sin when you dwell on these thoughts since it leads to lust! Hello. Wake up. That will never happen.

If one is truly in love, it has to be mutual. The relationship is already so deep, you know what your significant other does and how he/she reacts to situations. How you are able to support him/her and at the same time that he/she will support you. Because this prepares young people in relationships for marriage.

And how do you deepen such relationships? Firstly you do not try to know a person just for the sake of dating. Take a genuine interest in what he/she does. Find out his/her personality. Spending time together does obviously help, though not 1-on-1 but preferably in a group setting. Phone calls, placed intermittently (not torrentially, of course!!!) can be a big blessing too. And over time, relationships begin to develop, mutual fondness develops (Especially if personalities can fit) and a deepening of understanding takes place. This is why I so respect people who were so close to God's own heart, for example King David and even Hudson Taylor.

Sacrifices are important, but not supposed to be totally dumb (especially when one is infatuated, that usually happens). For the sake of mutually edifying each other, yes. For the sake of impressing the other party, OBVIOUSLY NOT. Don't be silly.

In any case, what has to be done first is to cement a good relationship with God. Understand what He wants for you. And the rest of the puzzle will oh-so-easily fall into place.

Relationships are not just about dating and BGR and holding hands, but in the bigger picture, it always involves our Heavenly Father!

Joel.

Is it just me or is it the people around me who are changing? Or is it just another temporary facade?

I've decided to change my style of blogging, but only if it doesn't stymie my creative juices when I'm doing so. Not as if I find it fun, but I find it to be more appropriate as compared to the "Hahas" and the "...."

Change does occur, anywhere, anytime. In fact, the very fact we're breathing already suggests a change in the oxygen concentration level around us due to the fact that we inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide constantly, but I shall not digress further on that matter.

What really does matter is that we do change for the better. As long as you feel that God wants you to change and people are having similar sentiments, why not? Instead of being so hard-headed and stubborn, why not actually consider that you do have a problem and God wants you to change? Yes, you may try, but trying half-heartedly or something does not necessarily mean success. Prayer is important, so are your priorities for changing. Not to become negative as a result of this criticism (though I have had in many recent incidents), but rather to thank God for showing you how to be better! In terms of worship, service, evangelism, fellowship and discipleship, all inclusive to get that blend of the purpose driven life.

I shall set a goal tonight, and that is to spend one uninterrupted hour with God alone. To ignore all calls, messages and people coming my way unless it is that absolutely important or urgent. However, most calls in SMM after 1730 are not necessarily that urgent, though it may be important.

Spent a good 15 minutes last night talking with Edmund on the phone, even though it was paid for by SAF funds since I used the phone in the Specialists' Mess. Still, the message that God wants to bring across, well I feel, is still the passage that God used to encourage me even in times of trouble. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. It can be so wonderfully refreshing and uplifting, and at this point in time God can be so much better than a best friend, a girlfriend, or even just a close confidant.

That may change though, depending on the things that come my way. Though I know I do have to give thanks in all circumstances and be joyful always, I'm human. And I tend to err. But with a loving God who forgives you everytime you confess your sin, why not? The times ahead will be tough, but yet I know He is my God, the Rock of my salvation.

I love Him.

Joel.

Why on earth am I not surprised that when one is without a mentor from early age, there will be a tendency for one to go wayward and delinquent in the future, probably ending up a social misfit if not for the love of God?

The answer lies in ourselves, not with God. it's not God's fault for letting us sin, it's our own choices to make. Whether we choose to sin (possible glorifying ourselves)or we choose to glorify God.

The presence of a mentor is very much required. In our tender years, the mentorship comes in the form of our parents. As we grow older, possibly our older peers or some other older people whom we respect might take over that role. And the role is so darn simple. To guide, to lead, to counsel in the ways of God. To prepare us in future to be led by God and God alone as our only mentor, once we are able to discern His voice and get on track with what He wants us to do!

Without it, though, we will kena big time. Young minds will go wayward, deciding to take the easy & crooked path down the road of destruction rather than the straight and narrow road leading to salvation.

Had a good chat with Sarah's parents today, as we were travelling around to the Concourse and Bras Basah Complex to find some items required to make the last night of church camp a memorable one, with the gaudy designs and psychedelic schemes.

Learned more stuff about my parents when they were young. And I'm impressed with them. i respect them, though outwardly I don't show it, inwardly I do. Cos they're my parents! And God didn't put them there for nothing! (To irritate me sometimes though I suppose?)

Yeah. True. People do need mentors to guide them from the very time of birth! Without them, who will lead you to God?

And in the book of Judges, which has been reviewed this entire month, the Israelites all go wayward without a king/judge/spiritual leader/mentor! Why am I not surprised? It's still happening in the 20th century! Man is still making the same mistakes as before and yet are proclaiming the advancement of humankind for the better. People are wallowing in sin but not knowing it because the laws and the rules have changed!

Joel.

Persecuted, not abandoned. Struck down, but not destroyed. Though the struggle may last for the night, the joys come in the morning...

And God is great, no matter what happens. It's the human mind knowing what God wants to do, yet the human heart being unwilling to do so... But now I've officially decided this: To be in total obedience to my God, and LET GO.

In fact, was actually discussing it with God just now. What I think He says is let go for now, and stop giving headaches, but return in the future... To let things cool off a little.

It may be heart wrenching, but I shall be prepared to follow. God knows what is best for us!

Joel.

I'm 1 week closer to ORD with the end of each week, and just looking forward to it.

Today was an interesting day. People comment that the way I teach is akin to the way a kindergarten teacher teaches his/her children, the only difference being that I teach reservists who can be twice my age or something, but heck, as long as they get the crux of the whole matter that you're trying to bring across isn't it good enough?

Maria's being amusing. To follow the love of her heart which is mass communications, and that means leaving the desired school of choice which being Ngee Ann poly is one of the best polys around, and uprooting herself to go to Nanyang to do her love subject...

That means she'll be lagging behind by 2 weeks cos Nanyang's course has started. Stress. I could already foresee some difficulties coming through. And some more trials going to go her way soon. Eek. Just to do mass communications... And leave Ngee Ann's design course aside...

Well. If you love something, you'll go all out to get it... And that's the case we should be setting too, for God... That we have to go all out to the ends of the earth because we love Him so.

Point taken.

Joel.

And O, what a wonderful Saviour. He never fails to intrigue me daily. With regards to that knotty issue yesterday, and as to why He really said "LET GO", now I can understand why.

It's so amazing. To jerk me out of lethargy and back to Him. And the Bible. Every time I feel damn screwed up I flip to a page and there God will have something relevant for me. Again and again, He has never failed.

This time, it was Jeremiah 17:7-8.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. HE will be like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes;, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

So what's God saying? "Trust in me lah, come on! Have I ever disappointed you before? In any case I want the best for you, rather than what you think is the best for yourself. Moreover, if you keep thinking about her that much you forget about Me, you might as well just let go of her!"

And yeah, me being a fool enough to lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:6) will inevitably cause myself to kena more headaches only. Grr.

I had a bad dream about Grace yesterday. That she was going to Thailand to help build a school, but the correspondent down there absconded with all the building funds, leaving her in the lurch and causing her to go to jail. Boy I hope this never happens... Freaky. And frankly.

Joel.

Ole... It seems like God's saying really conflicting stuff right now... firstly it's WAIT, and now it's LET GO? I don't understand, seriously. I really don't understand.

From the beginning it was choose to wait till 2007, and every now and then God would tell me not to be impatient, but now, just let go? Is that Your voice, or is it just one of my own inner voices telling me what I should do? Show me what You want me to do, God. What's the best solution that can work out, Lord. Otherwise I'll never be able to sleep in peace for a while.

It's really funny, I agree. I can't do this on my own, I realise. I need God... To actually show me what He wants me to do...

Meanwhile I'll just sit back and watch how the situation unravels.

Joel.

On duty again... Next thing up's a guard duty on the 19th, followed by yet another duty on the 23rd. Grr. Vesak Day's public holiday. How irritating can that get? Well at least my weekends aren't burnt, thank God...

Anyways... No 1's exams have started and she didn't tell me... Grr. I shall strangle her for that nevertheless.

Joy prayed for me yesterday, about my so-called gift of prophecy. Now I've been hearing God's voice every now and then about various people and all, but is that really what God's speaking or a figment of my on imagination? Is that a gift of God, or just my mind playing mind games with itself? I dunno. But as my best friend says, it has proven to be quite accurate so far...

I wonder. Somehow I'm getting bad vibes about Maria in poly, and yet good vibes about my no 1 & my best friend going to Thailand in the future as missionaries of God. I dunno. I seriously dunno.

Test the spirits, the Bible says, but how on earth do I test the spirits in these sorta weird, awkward circumstances? Help me someone. I really dunno.

Joel.

Basketball out in the sun today, I think I look rather darker now... But it's damn shag lah. Seriously.

And I'm on duty tomorrow. How fun can that get? Well I chose it myself... So. Bleah.

I think I'll just KO like a pig tonight. Bleah. At least tomorrow's there's no training...

Anyways... I've just received some shocking news... Which is rather personal. so I'd rather not comment about it down here.

Joel.