My great shaking has come. A total change of mindset, of opinions, of viewpoints, of what I think. But the truth still stands: God is good, and His love endures forever.

The whirlwind has come. And caused a flurry of activity in my heart. Over the past 2 days. And God has convicted me of certain stuff to get rid of, certain stuff to delve deeper into, certain stuff which can stay as it is.

Yesterday in worship I was convinced that God did want me to disband my darling family. After 6 months of being together in this manner, it's finally time to split. And also, to quit the worship ministry in TM.

In this manner, I'll be able to serve in Peace Team. Doubling up in 2 teams can be taxing enough. Especially when playing on Sundays.

Moreover, after reorganisation day, it's time to play an even more active part in my members' lives. To be an enagaging big brother of sorts, while Grace plays the big sister role. To encourage them to evangelise. And unify them in one spirit. If I do spend that much time with them I won't have time for my darlings, too. So it was best that I disbanded them.

And the best part? I'm not even a leader. Leaders get credit for all that they do, but are my efforts recognised? Of course not. And I'm an odd job labourer of sorts too. Whatever errands to run, I do it. Whatever menial tasks to do, I do it. Aprreciative? No. Unsung? Yes.

So why am I carrying on with all this? For the praises of man I will never ever stand, but for the kingdom of God all effort is appreciated. A thankless job yet looked upon with such favour by God. That's what keeps me going. In my weakness and His strength, a perfect complement.

Through the next 5 months, an exponential growth for our CG. That's the target. I'm not a leader and I'm planning this. Kinda ironic, eh?

Joel.

Now as we come back, and perform honest assessments on ourselves, the After Action Review that one should take after such a big event has gone past.

And true, God did speak again. When Kelvin and Ivan came over last night, He spoke through them. And so powerfully, I can't help but not take action. The sins of the past being resurfaced, the Master Diver skilfully revealing areas in my life which I have to get rid of the rubbish from.

Without even realising it I've come to offend many people. Yes. Without even realising it. That's the sad reality. Our behaviour always leaves much to be desired, human reaction towards another human's action always being disputive and argumentative, especially if it's someone you don't know well and you can't click well with.

Yes, I feel compelled to do something. But now I'm still being rebellious. I don't want to do anything. But I am being compelled to.

Joel.

Yes, the excitement was there, the euphoria now slowly dying off once everyone realises it's over. And for some poor souls, to get right back into work the next day. For other more fortunate souls, they've got the whole week off.

God fell on the church again. Not in the manner where people started bawling their hearts out, but in the quiet sections of their time with Him, that He appeared. And gave them words of lovingkindness, of wisdom, words filled with water from the river of life.

Even I myself. That God mentioned I do not need a full elaborate drum set to operate, but whatever tools on hand can be used to make a joyful noise unto Him. After all, if stones could cry out worship to Him, what more humans, in their worshipful attitude, to create delightful rhythms and patterns, straight from the heart, not to please other humans but to Him who is to be worshipped forever? Amen.

Nevertheless, the last night of camp really belonged to Him. The skies threatened to open up, and yet He being the faithful loving Father that He always is, mercifully held back the rain for our performance to carry on, and though it would never reach up to His standard yet we did perform, with the talents He gave us, that we would glorify His name further. And people were blessed. And touched. By it all. The hard work and preparations in the week leading up to camp. And thanks be to God for oallowing it to all happen! It's divine.

Joel.

I'm slowly losing my inspiration to write those profound-sounding discourses. If ever they do sound profound. Or complicated, for that matter.

Even my writing is starting to cease, the 10 page letters I decided to write for my darlings' baptisms seemingly monotonous and extremely difficult to complete, churning out 4 pages would seem a massive achievement. Indeed.

Maybe I'm taking things into my own hands. God doesn't speak without reason, but sometimes it can be the simple fact that you misheard Him. I think I've done it for quite a few occasions already. I'm wrong, yet I'm taking a step of faith by believing that He actually said such and such a thing.

But it's starting to impact me negatively.

Joel.

The hubbub of church camp is getting, the excitement rising to fever pitch really soon. What are we going to do there? How is the journey going to be like? When can we actually leave for there? Let's quit it, and go straightaway. Like right now!

True. It's not every day that a church camp is being organised, and obviously people will be excited about it. From the all-so-common Malaysia, with Port Dickson, Malacca, etc being visited countless times already, we're trying out a new destination: Batam.

It all starts this Sunday. With a fabulous lunch and a promising shopping experience coming our way. Is that the purpose of going there, to shop all day? Obviously not.

What a church camp is all about: It is a time of retreat. A time of getting away from the bustle of the city, to take in more and more of God's love in an increasing fashion. After all, God didn't plan this for nothing. No, planned by God, and people called by Him to work for Him when they could have actually spent their time to do something they'd have considered more important. Of course, their job is difficult. Yet they have been called by God to prepare a place to meet up with Him and worship Him. How much better could that get?

So as far as I can see, we ought not to miss out on the real purpose of why we go to church camp for. Throwing people into the swimming pool, having some grand gala event on the last night, shopping on the first day -- all these are secondary. The primary focus is still to get back in touch with God again.

Yes? No? Maybe? Think about it.

Joel.

And I would go,
to the ends of the earth,
to the ends of the earth.
For You, alone are the Son of God,
and all the world will see,
that You are God, that You are God.

<-- chorus of To The Ends of The Earth -->

Tomorrow is Sports Extreme, and we're projecting 200 new people to come, but so far only 160 have responded. Sounds disheartening? No. God can do so many marvellous things in one night, let alone one hour, or even one minute.

Jesus is the Son of God. If God could send Him down to die for us, then what makes us think that He can't do anything else for God? Or He's had enough with us? No! God is ever-loving, never-forsaking, and He is always, always with us.

So what then, is this unbelief that clouds the minds of those who do not believe in Him today? I don't know. Or is it that the god of this age, i.e. Satan, has blinded the minds of those who have not known Him? Yet He is a light to the lost, a beacon to the missing sheep that He so wants to be back in His flock.

Are you making a decision for Him today?

Joel.

"And the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective..." James 5:16. Prayer is a means of communication with God, basically a signification that the Creator desires to speak with those He so lovingly created, which He saw as "very good".

Unfortunately now many people use prayer for the purpose of getting themselves out of trouble, or fulfilling a particular request, or even for enriching themselves further.

Now that's not a very healthy approach to take. One should notice that the abovementioned behaviour is akin to self-centred, selfish human desires. Is that the "Christlike" character God wants us to adopt as part of our own? Definitely not!

Yet people are choosing to get caught up with the things of this world and see God as an instant solution to their problems with a quick call to Heaven, "God help me! Reduce my workload, I'm dying under the stress! So that I can have more time to worship you..."

As you can see, the prayer example I have used above has woefully been rehashed, time and again by different people. It's not as if we have to "make time" for God, because He's always there! In fact, He makes time for us to worship Him. And get close to Him. We do not have to specifically carve out blocks of time from our schedule to fit in with Him like trying to see the doctor when reporting sick. Neither is prayer about oneself, trying to get relief from adverse circumstances all the time.

God is not a reluctant giver. In fact He gives much more readily than we can imagine. Yet some people around the world do deliberately choose to "twist His arm" to get a particular request fulfilled. He is a God of the how much more! If only everyone knew how to pray and communicate effectively. How much more would He then bless those doing His work faithfully!

Obedience is a virtue, the gateway to an even deepere relationship with God. Thank God for that! Personally I do feel really blessed by God this few months. Though I haven't been totally obedient to His voice. But trying to achieve total obedience. For partial obedience is always worse than total disobedience, no?

< --- Thoughts obtained from Edmund Chan's book --->

Joel.

Ah. What a nice topic to discuss. Ever since John the Baptist was the first prominent person to be mentioned baptising people in water, and yet prophesying about a man who would come and baptise in fire, but ultimately baptising the man he prophesied about in water himself first.

Ever since then baptism has been used as a means of declaring one's faith in Christ publicly. That even Philip would baptise an Ethiopian official in a pool right smack in the middle of the desert, symbolises the fact that anyone can be baptised, Jews and Gentiles alike.

The very act of baptism into a pool or body of water signifies the cleansing of the soul by God, and therefore dying to one's old self and putting on the self of Christ. That's the whole purpose of total immersion into water.

3 weeks later, my 5 darlings are all going into the pool. To declare that they worship Jesus as their one true Saviour, to affirm their faith in God and His works.

And I'm very proud of them. Seriously. That all 5 of them are going in all on the same day. After praying for them for so long, this is the first step that they're taking. After this though, there'll be more advanced level refining. And who knows what'll happen? I know my Nah will end up going to Thailand. I've heard God speak, and I believe that is what He wants.

After all, the Christian life is all about a development of Christlike character. Life itself is full of trials, meant to shape us more and more into the likeness of Christ. If we did understand what God was trying to teach us during the trials, it'd be more bearable, but some people do miss the point entirely.

But they'll learn. By the grace of God.

Joel.

I am a failure. I still don't understand why I'm i) cursing my super duper unreasonable boss, ii) being judgmental, iii) using foul languaged especially in the context of the SAF, iv) doing the things that I'm basically doing right now.

It's not as if God's helping me. He is. He walks beside me daily, but I don't feel that He is there when I'm doing any of the abovementioned stuff. I just carry on like I've not being saved by the redeeming power of His Son.

Inevitably, no one's perfect. Neither am I. We all do slip up here and there, but if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and forgives us. What a loving guy He is man. Nothing else compares to the grace and mercy He has for us fallen sinners. The ones who decided to rebel against Him and reject His authority as king over our lives.

As a result we introduce death and suffering into the world when God first intended it to be very good. And we observe the death and decay of the world taking into place, physically with our bodies, spiritually with other religions taking place and corrupting human souls with false doctrines, and morally as the sins of lust and promiscuity rear their heads in an ugly manner, like hydras in mythical Greece. So prevalent, yet so subtle. Pornography, suggestively-labelled magazines, scantily-clad women all finding their way prominently into men's magazines, etc.

People can ensnare themselves. Those without self-control and the power of God breaking all strongholds in their lives. Many a time young men have fallen into the trap and never gotten out of it again.

Sadness, eh? The work of the devil spreading exponentially like filth into every corner of the earth.

Joel.

Is brought about, not by God, contrary to what most people think, but rather how we react to certain situations in our lives.

For example, if you fail your exams, you will understably feel upset and depressed. Yet it's not God's fault for making you fail. If you slip into depression it's also not God's fault but rather how you're reacting to it. Whatever it is, it's not God's fault. If you've overstudied, God might want you to trust in Him instead of your books! If you've understudied then God wants you to study more! It's as simple as that.

So whatever you do, your reaction determines the way your outlook of life will be. Whether you choose to be negative, and blame yourself, or be positive, and trust in God for better things ahead. For what you want may not necessarily be what God wants for you.

I can understand that, having gone through tons of rejection in the past, when I did opt to take my own path instead of the one God laid out for me. Regrettably, I've missed out on many opportunities which were there for me to take, had I been there.

Learning point: To focus on what God wants, and not what we want for ourselves. And how to react accordingly, not bogged down by circumstances, believing that in the end, GOd always wants the best for us.

Joel.