Is a choice. It's intentional. And it depends how much you want to. If of course you decide to release your own inhibitions, and soak up the fullness of God's river, you'll definitely grow. Granted.

And for people to want to grow their hearts have to be in tune with the Word of God, no? Prayer is a must, and so it is compulsory to pray, that God changes each individual's heart to tune him/her to what He wants, and not what each individual wants. I could choose to disobey God by doing what I want and not what He wants, but that'd only sadden Him, open myself up to disobey Him even more, and cause me to fall away from Him.

And that'd be sin. Of course.

But I'm very very thankful with God, that He's being very gracious to my children at this point in time. Granted, some of them will face their own trials and temptations, which will be heightened at this point in time when we try to take on the kingdom of darkness, but we will prevail with the Name of God working in our lives!

Of course. And as we start phase I of our attack, the CG outing next week, my only prayer is that they will be friendly and understanding to the new friends coming down for ice-skating! And it'll be a blast, though I might end up on my bum most of the time.

But we will pray, we will prevail, and we will conquer. Yet it's up to God to have mercy and relent and allow these unsaved people to know Him, and the works that He has done for everyone to come to know Him.

Joel.

Have you ever thought about how we're misusing the name of God even today, and how much we mutilate the term "fellowship" for some gathering which isn't even spiritual in nature?

Most of the time when we say we do something "for God" we're actually doing it in order to gain recognition, or acknowledgment that we've done something worthy to be lauded. And that attitude is wrong.

We don't have to be the most elaborate dancers, or most skilled musicians, or the most fluent preachers to do something "for God". He can snap His fingers and generate something even more sophisticated and dazzling than the best performer in the world can ever do. Whatever we can do, He can execute it with even more flawless ability. No?

So why are we claiming to do it all "for Him"? That attitude is SO wrong. Reflects pride, insecurity, and individual selfishness, at best. Whatever He gives to us, we use it back to glorify His name, that's all. A spirit of humility has to be employed in service. We can be the most unsung people, the most unrecognised, but yet at the same time we stop up treasures in Heaven by faithfully putting our gifts to good use. That when He calls, we obey. It's as simple as that. Of course, Jesus singled out the woman with 2 copper coins because she gave all she had, no matter how little it was. And that is what Jesus expects of us. If we have been given this much, to use it faithfully. If we have been less richly bleseed, still to use it wherever He directs it to!

Secondly, fellowship. What is it with people that they go out for lunch, talk shop, play LAN, have fun, and call it fellowship? That idea is most totally abhorrent. Friendship building, relationship bonding, yes, but fellowship, NEVER.

Fellowship is all about communicating with others the deepest secrets of your heart. And prayer is very important at the core of fellowship. Only when the Spirit moves in each others' presence, is fellowship realised.

Not by playing LAN, of course.

Joel.

As our operation proceeds on, I'm starting to notice some cracks appearing in our walls. In the walls of our fortress, after some bombardment by the enemy.

Sometimes it's heart-rending when you see your friends fallen by the side of the road, having been hit with a missile dead on target. Goodness. Mortally wounded, how can you expect your friend to survive? And yet God, the master doctor and surgeon, is there to heal and treat our wounds.

Naturally though, we will expect MAJOR opposition. I repeat, MAJOR opposition. We have coordinated and promised to bring down 50 new friends by the end of this year, and obviously the kingdom of evil won't sit back and relax, watching as we rescue souls from the dominion of darkness! Obviously.

Lies are an exceptional way for Satan to function. After all, as I have mentioned earlier, he is the father of lies. There is no one more skilled than him.

Granted, it is difficult to maintain that healthy balance between the work you have to do, what your parents expect of you, and what you think God expects of you. But of course, never ever blame your current circumstances for hindering you to serve Him wholeheartedly or worship Him in Spirit and in truth. NEVER. It's a lie! It's the most blatant untruth! If that was the case I don't think I'd be playing for worship in the midst of my A levels at that point in time, wouldn't it?

Sieve that out. It's a lie. Do not be taken in. You were called to serve. That's true. At the same time you were called to worship, you were called to discipleship, you were called to fellowship. And most importantly you were called to evangelism. Who says you can't serve Him or fellowship when your time is that limited by your parents or some other authority over you?

Your parents were placed there for a purpose. They know what's best for you. If you aren't able to serve now doesn't mean you can't do that in the future. And worship isn't necessarily singing songs and praising Him and praying, worship is essentially a lifestyle. Fellowship doesn't have to be done in the presence of each other, too.

What's the point of doing your best when you know you'll leave this world with nothing? When you do your best, you honour your parents, you honour God. And that's pleasing in His sight. When you choose not to, you don't honour your parents. And do not blame anyone for being where you are right now, it's all part of God's divine purposes, ask Him to reveal more of it to you!

Secondly, when your problems are too great, cry out to Him for help. No sense telling other people who may have warped ideas of what you should do or what you shouldn't.

And DON'T, I repeat, DON'T dwell on your problems for too long. Which of you by worrying can add a single day to his life? See how the sparrows of the field live. The hand of God providees for even the littlest sparrow. Now if He should provide for such a small creatures, why not place your faith and trust in Him? After all you were more important on the hierarchy. Before you were formed He knew you, and He made you in His own likeness! Is there anything else better than that? Plenty. He gave us His own Son, that whosoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life.

There is no point reliving it over and over again when you know you can't do anything about it. Bring it to God in prayer. But don't expect instant solutions. Instead of moping over it and thinking about it, spend more time with Him at night. It helps. I tell you, it really helps. You know you've got a Friend to share your problems. But like I say again, do not expect that He will do something about it straight away.

Most importantly, ask what His purposes for you are in letting these things happen to you! They don't happen without a reason, and if it is meant to strengthen your faith, for example, or allow you to be able to share more comfortably within the group, then all the more He will let it happen to you! Whatever Satan means for evil, God will always turn it around for your good.

So, whenever something happens, NEVER ask, "Why me, God? Why not someone else?" Instead, "Thank you God, though You know it's very difficult for me to handle it on my own. But Lord, You are sovereign, you are in full control, and Your love endures forever. What do You want me to learn in these circumstances?"

And I can guarantee you, if you look at things fro ma wider perspective, He will cause you to mature further and faster than you have ever imagined. All because you decided to take that sstep of faith to trust Him even though you didn't know exactly what He wanted.

Do not ever be taken in by Satan's lies. Identify those lies in your life and get rid of it, now. FAST. The kingdom of darkness is working overtime to stop the covenant between us and God from happening, and if we do fall into his traps he'll have succeeded. And you'll rue the opportunities lost to you.

Nobody ever said that the road to the kingdom of heaven was a cushy one. Expect problems to be encountered on the way, but none that can't be solved without God's grace. Above all, pray. And depend on Him, not yourself.

Relax. God loves you! So much more than anything in the world!

Joel.

Very different, guaranteed. Back then before the CG split I didn't have much of a sense of belonging to them. It's only now after the split that I feel I have more responsibility over them. It's mine, and Grace's children, our children whom we have to take care of, whom we have to groom, whom God has entrusted to us in the very first place!

Granted, this responsibility may be too much to bear. After all, 7 souls are at stake here. How we behave, how we discuss things, how we execute/carry out projecs, and how we work to achieve common goals. Now, that's a VERY VERY VERY important task. It determines how our children grow up in Him. Or lose faith in Him. And we are being judged with a divine double standard. Leaders being judged more stringently than the rest of the people, because as leaders we have to be even more accountable, more in tune with the Word, more sensitive to His voice, and at the same time to be able to meet the needs of our people!

It's tough, but nevertheless I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. And I believe it will be the same for everyone out there. If only they'd put their faith in Him 100%. And my faith in Him is nowhere near 100%, either. But we grow. Obviously.

And I do believe, that God is calling us closer together. Relationships with each CG member should be closer than what it is now, that they ought to know each other more inside out than not. After all, they were put together for a purpose. Be it God wanting to test them, or God wanting them to be a blessing to others -- relationships shouldn't be at such a superficial version as it is right now.

Shouldn't we go deeper than just the skin deep stuff?

Joel.

The act of praying for others, to stand in the gap to pray for people. Whether it be people who have come to know the Lord or those who haven't, intercession is still equally as important. To protect those of the family of Christ, and to allow those who don't know Him to come to know Him!

This is what intercession is all about. Praying on behalf of someone. It can be one of the most intense battles you have, depending on how close you are with the person you are praying before, and how close you are to God. What God chooses to reveal to you to pray for specifically.

Wouldn't it be great to cry out to him with tears and in great travail, with such a burden on our hearts? It shows how close we are to Him, it shows how much we're willing to do things when He asks.

Let us continue to examine our hearts and be sensitive to His word. Praying, like I've said, is the singular most important component of our life with God as it is.

And when He asks us to pray, we do it. Even when He doesn't ask us to pray specifically, we were created by Him to talk to Him! Of course. That's where prayer kicks in.

Let's pray! And intercede! And stand in the gap for all our friends? Who knows? God may relent and allow them to come to know Him much more easily!

Joel.

Can be that powerful, and that tasteful, that all who drink of it will come back thirsting for more of the Lord. Amen.

It is not every day that we see revival taking place, large-scale, corporate revival. In each individual personally, and in the entire organisation of the church. Even better, that God pours out His Spirit on the whole nation!

Young men will see visions, old men will dream dreams. We will praise God in languages that only He understands as the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ moan and intercede for us that our prayers be heard by God and it come to pass.

We are waiting. So many people have seen the vision of revival in our church, and we do not want to pass on it so easily and quickly.

Lord, let us be prepared for it.

A voice of one calling in the desert: prepare ye the way of the Lord!

For He is coming again, and we'd better be ready to expect Him.

Joel.

Living a good life or when life is easygoing, fluid and smooth doesn't necessarily mean that we should be happy and/or complacent that things are always going off.

Of course, God wants us to enjoy life. We were created for God's pleasure, so life would be very good in His sight. But yet, the way we live doesn't actually reflect the goodness that God has placed in our lives.

For example, if we spend our life smoking, lazing and pigging out it wouldn't display a good picture of our life in God's sight. If we were to just be caught napping within our comfort zones that wouldn't be pleasurable, either. Because Christ will come like a thief, the day and hour unknown. The earth and heavens will surely pass away in a flash, and you will just see Him coming back to earth, suddenly realising that you've just wasted your life on meaningless things.

Hence, we ought not be complacent, and forget our calling. That God created us to worship Him, and we have to spread the news to all we love!

And not just waste our time doing meaningless things, obviously.

Joel.

At least, they're receptive to our insane idea. Operation Insanity will proceed full steam ahead. And 50 souls to be won in the space of 5 months. It is so do-able. Of course, easier said than done, what we do need is the grace of God also going full steam ahead.

And of course,w e have to cover each other. Before that, we have to know each other better. Today, me and Grace broke fast together at MacDonald's. With the rest of the kids. And yes, animated discussions going on, more lively than at CG time.

What an idea to suggest that we do it every once a month. Even in infantry battalions, each section of 7 men has to know each other inside out. The way they behave, eat, drink, live. Only then can they work together as a cohesive fighting force. Similarly as that of a cell group we have to know each other inside out. That our manners be known to all so that we can brace ourselves against the devil's attacks and be sensitive to the needs of the people around us.

Today was definitely not a wasted day.

Joel.

I'm being disturbed. My soul is not at rest. For the past 2 days of fasting there has been some opposition, and of course I've also been hit by it.

Today, a demonstration supposed to be done was not done. And when Boss asked whether we did it, we lied. I was too shocked to answer, someone else did. But bottomline is, I didn't stop him. And so we lied. We're equally guilty.

The sin of man is too much to bear. Too much, even for me to bear. God's reminding me that all my actions are one day answerable to Him. Moreover, that these things are just momentary. In the twinkle of an eye, they fade away. Furthermore, a crucial life lesson to learn. That what you may not have done is also your responsibility, how you react also determines your mood.

Tomorrow's the split, and me and Grace are looking forward to breaking our fast tomorrow. Our new children coming in, and it's time to go insane.

I shall worry about my punishment on Monday. No sense letting it drag over the weekend and spoil my mood. Especially when I'm also at fault, unequivocally guilty of the same crime that others in the training shed are also charged with.

It's a sin, and yet that sin managed to worm out a few more uncofessed sins which I turned over to the gracious Father. And of course, He was merciful to forgive me, so why shouldn't I forgive others the sins that they have knowingly or unknowingly committed against me?

This fast. Has been opposing, and a big learning one at that, too.

Joel.

Now me and Grace are taking on a new tack. We're going on a fast for 3 days, 14th July to 16th July, Thursday to Saturday. We break on 16th during our new CG discussion time.

It's going to be a first for me, I've never fasted from food for my entire life. Moreover, the fast comes on 2 hectic days. Doesn't that sound interesting? The challenge is there. Making me even more dependent on His grace up there to keep me going. It's not going to be myself, neither is it my stored up fats, but the One from above who has apportioned grace to us as He has deemed fit.

Overall, we want a change. A revival. A development of our childrens' character, to mould into the image of Jesus Christ day by day. And to emulate what He would've done in the very same circumstances they're going through in their young lives. Including obedience to Him, complete, total, unchanging obedience in their faith in Him and their walk with Him.

We want to be insane for God. And no one else.

Joel.

Of course, it's only another week away that we split, and I'm having split feelings over it right now. Over the fact that some people are leaving, and the fact that it's necessary to do so because they're stagnating and living too much in their own comfort zones.

Stagnation is a dangerous thing. The fire for God slowly being extinguished, the passion dimmed, how are we able to go forth and fight the spiritual war that the gods of this age has waged against the one true living God? Obviously we have to prepare ourselvs, haul our lazy bums off the floor, and get cracking.

It is a global war we're battling. The god of this age has blinded the unbelievers, and the only way they can regain their sight is a belief in the one who died for them -- the Lord Jesus. Who decided to take the sin of the world upon His shoulders, that whoever believed would not perish but have eternal life.

And it is our duty to share the goodness of this one man with those who have not heard or seen the good news. BEcause we are commanded to do so!

But Operation Insanity will change all that. Me and Grace will work doubly hard. Overtime. 5 months to the end of the year, and we're sure we can do something. But can the rest of them catch the vision? We will pray. Triply hard.

As for Sarah and Deborah, I think it's a very opportune time for you to come in too. Catch the flame of God raining down from above!

Be insane for the love of God!

Joel.

At how God works. Sarah and Deborah, the latest to be called up for a higher calling than ever before. To be responsible ACGLs, they'd better be. In my heart I feel overjoyed. Of course, they'll be taking of my favourite kids with Sir Ivan, so Sir, if you're reading this, you'd better.

How God works is simply breath taking. 1 year ago, of course, the 2 of them were so different, now, the hand of God is with them, and I can only pray that they do grow in faith in Him. Yes? You'd better.

What amazing grace. From God. Calling us out of our lives as sinners, preparing us to live with him throughout all eternity. Isn't that great?

Joel.

Disclaimer: The last entry was done on impulse, and basically out of fun, any ill-intention notwithstanding. If you can see it is indeed quite rubbishy, which is why I'm writing this paragraph so that people will not treat it as if I'd planned everything out this way. NO.

The much-awaited (or dreaded) split of the sec 2 CGs is finally coming. 1 more week to go. And Grace knows how I feel. Deep down inside. The plans for our CG. The sadness at seeing my favourite guy leave for another cell, but yet I know that God's plan is not to be interrupted just because of how I FEEL.

God has a plan for each of us, whether we like it or not. People serve in different capacities, at different levels. The head cannot say to the foot "I don't need you!"; neither then, can the hand say to the eye "I don't need you!" It all depends on how much faith in God you have to give you how much more than you actually want Him to bless you. And it also depends on how close you are with Him, how much you are after His own heart. Look at David, he was such a great king, the Lord gave him all the success, all because he was a man after God's own heart!

Naturally adverse circumstances wreck our day and we get rather fired up because things are not going our way. Yet have we ever stopped to consider that God means it for a better purpose than what we think? Obviously not! But His ways are higher than our ways, neither are His thoughts our thoughts, so how are we to argue? It is baseless and time-wasting.

Despite all that has happened (but yet I think my life is very good right now), I will not be complacent. I must soldier on. And press on. The goal is still to win the war which we have with the world. And by God's grace we'll win.

Joel.

Disclaimer: Courtesy of Cheryl Tan.

First, name 20 people you know.

1. Deborah Lim
2. Christina Lim
3. Benjamin Liew
4. Jackson Pon
5. Ong Chin Shen
6. Lim Choon Yong
7. Kelvin Leong
8. Maria Huang
9. Teo Kar Yong
10. Ivan Teo
11. Clinton Goh
12. Cheryl Tan
13. Koh Choon Wei
14. Sarah Wong
15. Mark Yap
16. Ivan Goh
17. Jonathan Ji
18. Sarah Chan
19. Edmund Eng
20. Amy Tan

Is 9 a boy or a girl? Neither. He's a man. A commando.
Would 11 and 2 make a cute couple? They don't even know each other? How am I to know? But 11 doesn't know his sexual orientation, hard to say.
How about 18 and 4? Obviously not! The age gap is too great. And 18 won't like smokers.
When was the last time you talked to 12? Just 20 minutes ago, talking about ripping the quiz off her blog!
What is 6's favorite band? Haven't asked about his musical orientation in a LONG time.
Does 1 have any siblings? 1 older sister, 1 younger brother.
Would you ever date 3? Of course. WE're gay together. Though he'd never agree. But if I treated he would. He's miserly.
Would you ever date 7? He stays over at my house all the time. It's cohabiting, not dating.
Is 16 single? Obviously. Will not elaborate.
What's 15's last name? Yap. Isn't it obvious?
What's 5's middle name? Chin. Can't you tell? Like duh.
What's 10's hobby? Doing PT.
Would 14 and 19 make a good couple? I don't know. They don't even know each other well. And heck, 19 reads my blog. So I'd rather be politically correct. :X
Tell me a random fact about 11: If he doesn't bitch it's not normal.
And 1: She sings too softly already. The mike has to be jacked up to full volume. When she sings.
Have you ever had a crush on 8? Honestly, yes.
Where does 9 live?: Fernvale, Sengkang.
What's 4's favorite color?: Green. Actually, don't know.
Are 5 & 6 best friends? They don't even know each other for goodness sake.
Does 7 like 20? NOT.
Does 8 like 19?: NOT.
How did you meet 15?: BMTC Sch 1, Gryphon Coy.
Does 10 have any pets?: His boys hanging around him each Sunday.
Is 12 older than you?: Younger by 3.5 years.
Is 1 the sexiest person: Of course not. That's Lin Chiling.
Have you ever given 13 a hug? All the time in camp.

PS: Lame.

Joel.

Scientifically, defined as the change in momentum of an object.

Emotionally, though, defined as an action which has been committed without any prior thought or consideration given before that.

Naturally I'd be talking about the emotion part instead of the scientific part, especially considering that I've not touched my physics textbooks for almost 2 years.

Given the situation that I've gone through the past week I'd find it easy to say that if I actually did act on impulse it'd have hurt me and the people around me more than if I didn't do so.

Of course. It's human to react that way when circumstances go awry, true? When people bad mouth you, or you don't get credit where credit is due, you'll react negatively based on that impulsive desire to show that you've still got some flair, isn't that true?

It is human to err, too. If you do react negatively on impulse, it's a sin. Of course God doesn't want you to react that way when He puts something obstructive in your life. It's just pride pulling you down, and satan clapping in glee when he realises you've just about fallen for the oldest trick in his book.

It is human to react that way, but is that what Jesus would do in the face of adversity? Obviously not. And if I actually did act on impulse, life on my weekends would be positively much more miserable.

Thanks to God for showing me what I think He wants me to do. Get the important stuff done, and not focus on the unimportant. Missions is where worship isn't!

Joel.

After the shaking that has been done my mind's cleared. Though still rather upset.

About doing certain things, for the sake of other certain things. Of course, when people put you in charge of something you have to do it to the best of your ability, and admittedly I haven't been doing it, but still. Things can change. In another half a year. There'll be another great shaking, trust me. I'm sure of it.

For my boys and girls, obviously. But it will go as God leads, nevertheless.

Joel.